Ellie's Book #13: The Black Tulip

The Black Tulip by Alexandre Dumas, père

***

I love the idea of gardening but I am an irredeemable plant-killer.

I can back up this assertion.

Ninth-grade biology was traumatizing in many ways (anyone else who took Mr. Ekberg’s class can attest to this), but one of the assignments I actually was looking forward to was the project for the asexual reproduction unit. We had to grow and tend an asexually-reproducing plant and keep it alive until it reproduced asexually (yes, I am deriving a disproportionate amount of amusement from typing “asexual” so many times. In some ways I might still be in ninth grade).

“If you’re not so great with plants,” Mr. Ekberg told us, “try a bryophyllum. They’re pretty much impossible to kill.” My ears perked up. My previous biology project—growing a flower from a seed—had failed spectacularly. Come to think of it, all my elementary school and primary class bean sprouts had met similarly sad fates. Bryophyllum sounded right up my alley.

For those of you who don’t know what a bryophyllum is, it looks a-like this:

Cute, right? All those little flowers on the edges are the asexually-reproduced new plants.

I marched up to Mr. Ekberg’s desk with the other students to get my bryophyllum starter. I cradled it carefully all the way home. This was going to be my first real, successful plant, I just knew it. I’d keep it alive until it reproduced and get an A on my assignment but then I’d also keep it alive FOREVER. This plant was going to come to college with me, just you wait and see. Hadn’t the teacher said they were impossible to kill? Yes. Yes, he had. He had even gone further: “If you can manage to kill a bryophyllum, you should probably just give up on plants altogether.”

Well, I did get an A on my assignment. Two days later the bryophyllum went from beautiful, A-grade flowering to brown, dry, dead practically overnight.

I pretty much gave up on plants altogether. Except in books. Because, as we know, the plants in books cannot die merely from being in my presence. (They may not have taught you that in biology, but I am here to share important tidbits like that.) This is part of the reason why I like books which feature gardens or plants or growing things.

So I was excited for this book. It was another book club read. Kristen already described it (aptly) as a horticultural thriller. It follows the efforts of a tulip breeder, Cornelius, to create a perfect black tulip and win the national prize. He must battle his neighbor’s jealous efforts to thwart Cornelius and steal the prize for his own. He must deal with false imprisonment. He must learn to balance his love of tulips with his love of Rosa, the prisonkeeper’s daughter. And he must not get too entangled in political drama. Can he do it? Will his fortunes and love affairs flower like a prize black tulip or wither like my ninth-grade bryophyllum? Will the reader accidentally learn some history on the way? Will good times be had by all?

This book moved much more quickly than the other Dumas works I’ve read, but felt slightly less richly developed. It was still an enjoyable read and I recommend it to anyone else who, like me, dreams of the flowers they cannot grow. Or, you know, who just likes a good horticultural thriller. Three stars.

And the 24th spot goes to...

The Autobiography of Mrs. Tom Thumb: A Novel
Melanie Benjamin
3 stars

I wanted to love this book. I really did. It came highly recommended. It is about a fascinating person from American history. I thought, why not? And, after reading it, I am willing to bet that most, if not all, of you would like this book a lot if you gave it a chance.

But I found out something about myself as I read this book. Something that I am glad I learned and that forces me to give this book three stars instead of four. That something is that I don't like a fictionalized "autobiography" of a real person.

Mercy Lavinia Warren Bump Stratton Magri, aka Vinnie, was born October 31, 1841, in Middleborough, MA. Fully grown, Vinnie stood 2'8". She had what was then known as proportionate dwarfism. In other words, she looked like a perfectly formed adult female but was just extremely small. This turned out to be quite the lucky break, because proportionate dwarfs were looked upon with curiosity instead of disgust and/or revulsion. For this reason, she was able to have quite a successful life in show business, whereas those with disproportionate dwarfism were typically relegated to the side show and clown acts.

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Not a whole lot is known about Vinnie's life, mainly the bare bones. She wrote a few chapters in an attempt at an autobiography, but she was not very detailed or open about her feelings and experiences. The author of this novel did do a lot of research and probably found out all she could about Vinnie, and then filled in the gaps with her own creative ideas.

What results is actually a good story. It was a good idea, and Benjamin did a good job with what she set out to do. I think she's a marvelous writer. She created a great personality for Vinnie-- it was a believable narrator throughout.

But it kind of drove me crazy, page after page, that I was reading a novel instead of a non-fiction autobiography. I just wanted to know what REALLY happened. I like learning about people and things. I love a good autobiography-- well-written and engaging. And thus I discovered that I don't like this genre.

So much of Vinnie's life is fascinating to me. Although she was sheltered in her youth, she became a school teacher at a young age. Feeling the itch to travel, she left home and worked on a showboat for about three years before going under contract with P.T. Barnum. Barnum, as you may know, was single-handedly responsible for the fame of Charles Stratton, aka General Tom Thumb, and many believe that it was Barnum who orchestrated the wedding that eventually took place between Vinnie and Charles. The Stratton wedding was the long-ago version of last year's Royal Wedding. Yes, it was that big. It took place during the Civil War and even took top billing in the newspapers for a few days.

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All in all, I can't help being a bit disappointed after finishing this book, but it's not because of the book. I really wanted to love it, but I just couldn't. If you don't have this same hang-up, I highly recommend this book. You'll probably love it. If you like knowing that what you're reading about a real person is actually the truth, well, you might want to read a different book.

And now that I think about it, I think I actually would have loved this book if Benjamin had taken pieces of Vinnie's life and used them when she created a different person, some other proportionate dwarf, named something else. I've read and enjoyed novels that were "inspired by the life of" or some such. But trying to pass this off as "my best guess" of what *really* happened, and even calling it "The Autobiography..." just didn't work for me.

Book 13: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

This book was previously reviewed by Alli here, so I will make this short.

I really liked this book and give it four stars. I have a newfound love and devotion for a place to which I've never been (Guernsey), but am determined to visit one day. I loved the character development, I loved the story line, I loved the ending. Amen.

#9: The Lady's Slipper

I'm going to keep this short. This was book was a disappointment. I put it on my list after a lady in my church book club suggested it as one of three options for the next month's read. We ended up choosing a different book as a group, but her description of this one piqued my interest.

Basically, this book is set in England in the 1600s. The cast of characters includes, but is not limited to, Alice, a young wife and plant enthusiast who recently lost her little sister, whom she cared for more as her daughter; Richard, a former soldier turned Quaker on whose land a rare orchid, the Lady's Slipper, is found; Sir Geoffrey Fisk, a truly awful man; and Ella Appleby, Alice's servant and, as it turns out, a skanky homewrecker.

When Alice learns of the Lady's Slipper growing on Richard's land, she tries to get him to let her take it and use it to grow more. Richard believes it should be left where God intended, so Alice steals it. In doing so, she inadvertently sets off a chain of events that kind of ruins her life. I doubt any of you are going to read this, so I'll just go ahead and say that Alice ends up in jail, framed for a murder that Geoffrey Fisk actually committed, and in the end she and Richard escape to the New England colonies. Along the way she learns a lot about Richard's Quaker beliefs. Oh, and Ella seduces Alice's husband away and plays a large role in the framing of Alice for murder. Wah wah wah.

Why didn't I like it when it has such an incredibly awesome story? Ha. Well, first, I was not expecting there to be any romantic element to the plot, and I have to say I didn't like the love story. It was weird and unconvincing. I also could have done well without the gratuitous sex scenes involving Thomas and Ella, which did nothing to further the story except make me hate both of them. I found none of the other characters very sympathetic, except for maybe Richard, but that's neither here nor there. In short, I didn't "like" any of them, and completely despised several. I expected the story involving the orchid to be compelling, but it, too, fell flat for me. I hate to say it, but I wish I hadn't wasted my time on this one.

I'm giving this book one star, mainly because I did keep reading it, and because there are an awful lot of good ratings for it on Goodreads, so I know there are people out there who would like it.

Outlander: Scots, Sex and Sutures

4 Stars

Outlander was...breathtaking. Despite its length, it was a breeze to read. But how do I describe it? I don't want to just call it a romance because that word has certain literary baggage. It was not corny or contrived or full of gratuitous sex, but yes, I suppose it was at its core a romance novel.

Claire is a WWII nurse from 1945 who accidentally steps back in time to 1743 Scotland. Other than this element, the book strives for realism. This realism creates some incredibly difficult/heartwrenching/violent reading material which Diana Gabaldon mercifully intersperses throughout the book to give you enough time to recover. Until the end. That's why I read 200 pages last night.

But as a whole, the book left me swooning and romantic and desperately wanting to snuggle my own red bearded husband. I fell in love with the characters--everyone from Claire, with her badass medical skills, intelligence, and fiestiness to the rowdy, bawdy group of clansman that provide much of the book's comic relief. Not to mention the romantic interest. Oh damn.

Though mostly driven by the developing romance, there's also a wonderful mess of political intrigue overriding the plot. With a full 850 pages, you can do a lot in one book. It was hilarious at times, I felt as if I were just one of the guys on a wild romp through Scotland full of adventure and derring-do. Other times it was a social commentary. At others it was a startling contrast between modern life, modern marriage, modern medicine and 1740s Scotland.

I highly recommend this book, but with a few cautions. It's definitely rated R for violence and sex. The violence was very personal. It wasn't distant war scenes, it was torture and rape. There were many times I just read with my mouth agape--not sure I wanted to continue. Though the sex in this book is frequent, it is not gratuitous, it's always advancing the plot in some way. If you ever want to read a well written sex scene that isn't full of "trembling member" this and "aching bosoms" that, the author does an incredibly accurate, generally tasteful job of describing pure intimacy. Again and again. ;)

My other caution is the writing is incredibly detailed, which made it start a little slow. It took slightly more than the 100 pages I typically allot to get really "in" to the plot. But once I was "in" I couldn't put it down.

If you DO read this book, we have to discuss it. There are parts that I'm still questioning. And I love a book that can do that to me.

Info:
Title: Outlander
Author: Diana Gabaldon
Published: 1992
850 pages (paperback version)